I’ve never been the biggest Valentine’s Day person myself because there’s so much emphasis surrounding romantic love and less on the concept of love itself. So many people put unnecessary amounts of pressure on themselves believing that finding their ideal partner will complete them, solve their problems, or fill an inner void. No outside source is ever going to give you the happiness you’re looking for, because this all starts from within. As cliche as it may sound…You have to learn to love yourself first.
Ok…I think it’s safe to say we’ve all heard this one before, but I put together some questions I recommend constantly coming back to, to help create a lasting love affair with yourself.
- What story are you telling yourself? Being mindful about your internal dialogue is key in making this positive transformation. Are you constantly telling yourself you’re too this, too that or overall just not enough? Our belief system is built on the foundation of what we believe to be true about ourselves. More than 1/2 the time we think something about ourselves, it’s probably not true to begin with. The more you tell yourself something, the more you believe it to be true. Get real with yourself by tuning into that inner voice and ask what the hell is the story that you’ve been believing? Only you can change your script.
- Where are you focusing your energy? For example, are you running home to scroll through IG and watch garbage TV or booking a class with your favorite instructor and using this space to do something impactful for your mind and body? One of the most pivotal moments in my life was when I stopped running home to watch re-runs of reality TV. Whatever it is you’re putting your energy towards, pay attention to how you feel after – do you feel full or drained?
- What energy are you putting out into the world? Do you walk into a room and own your light or shrink thinking that you’re not good enough? How do you treat the barista at your favorite cafe, your Uber driver, your waiter and everyone you come in contact with? The energy you put out is exactly what you get back, in every single aspect of your life.
- Who are you surrounding yourself with? Are your friends and family supportive? Do they recognize your accomplishments and celebrate with you or go completely silent when you’re on top? Pay close attention to this and know when it’s time to detach with LOVE.
Not just on Valentine’s day but everyday, practice more than just self love, practice ways to fall in love with the core of your being. One thing I love to do and swear by to help you fully tap into what lights you up, is to take inventory on all the simple everyday things that make you truly happy. For me, it would be waking up with my husband and kids and having breakfast together. Having a moment to myself (please god) to read my lesson of the day from A Course in Miracles and then sit in a peaceful meditation alone (once again…hahha) before getting a good 20-30 minutes of movement in. Taking this time for yourself throughout the day, even if it’s just a 5 minute walk outside makes all the difference in how you show up. You’ll have such a sense of fulfillment by creating this space to enjoy the simplest things in life. I hope by asking yourself these 4 simple questions and taking more time for what really makes you happy, it can guide you to a place of truly loving yourself.